the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
