Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
