fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
