WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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