somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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