I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
