I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
