Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
