how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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