I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
