I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
