I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
