My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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