when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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