So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
not ubering you a puppy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
