Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(915): View more from Texas

After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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(305): View more from Florida

My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.

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(773): View more from Illinois

the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu

(773): View more from Illinois

which is why it's clearly superior

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(914): View more from New York

I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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(561): View more from Florida

They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I want a burrito.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Truly, you are the voice of a generation.

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(407): View more from Florida

I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

You can't give interventions in a bar!

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