it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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