i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
