i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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