rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize