Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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