3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
