i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
