Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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