And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
