At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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