didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
