Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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