She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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