I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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