There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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