I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
