Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
