thus making me awesome and them whores
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
