I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
