Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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