I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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