doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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