Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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