I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
