what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
