Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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