...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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