I just made out with a guy for $7.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize