He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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