You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
