dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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