Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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