We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he was CRYING into my vagina
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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