Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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