Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
