It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
