Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
organizing the empties. That sober.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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