dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
