Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
