Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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