I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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