I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
