I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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