This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
