I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
