He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
