just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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