I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
