i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the day after is always just damage control
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
