Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
