My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Duck Duck Cougar?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
