3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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