By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
