Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
