would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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