i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
