How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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