okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
