This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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