my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
