Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
