I look better un-naked...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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