I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
