Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
